Hearing His Whisper

This blog is incredibly hard for me to write, and I will have to take a big gulp as I swallow my pride to do so. I have been here for almost a month and have seen so many incredible things that I feel the Lord has completely directed me to see. I came here following His calling and taking a strong step of faith and trusting in His plan for me. I made my own plans to be here for an extended period of time, but I feel that now the Lord has stepped in and shown me His plan. Because of this, I will be leaving Uganda this week. It is hard for me to say that because I love this place so much and for so long I felt the Lord calling me here. I think I listened more to my desires to be here than I listened to God’s plan for me. I do feel as though He called me here and that this is a part of His plan and His timing, but I think that He is calling me to take what I have learned here and return home and help spread His name and all that He is doing with the children here. 

This is something that I have been struggling a lot with since being here and trying to find His calming peace amongst my struggles. I have prayed so much about this and trying to discern whether it was God calling me home, or if it was my desire to go home. For the first time last week I finally felt a peace about not being at peace, because I could clearly hear the gentle whisper of the Lord in the middle of all of my anxious, loud thoughts. I feel that the Lord has blessed me with other gifts and talents and that by me faithfully following His call I can use those talents to better serve Him. We are to act in faith and in works- I am faithfully following His guidance (even though it’s hard) so that I can work for His glory.

The hardest part about this is accepting that I will not be here for as long as I thought I would and the fear of letting other people down. I have gone through this so much in my head. What will people think of me? Will they consider me a failure? Will they think it was too hard for me? Truthfully, if this was just “hard” but I felt at peace that God wanted me to be here, then I fully believe He would give me the strength to persevere. But that’s not the issue. Yes, it’s hard, but I feel that the Lord has different plans for me in order to serve Him better. Although these plans may be different than what I expected them to be, I am trusting in Him. At the end of this life, Jesus will be the one I face. I would rather choose to follow His plan for me and where I feel He is guiding me, at the expense of criticism from people, than choose to ignore what He is telling me to do out of fear of what others will think of me.

I love this place and Africa will always be dear to my heart. I fully believe that in time I will come back here with a mission team and will continue to do so throughout my life. There is so much good here and it is so incredible to see what all God is doing with His people in Uganda. God is moving in this city and I am blessed that he allowed me to see a glimpse of it. I am excited to see how I will serve Him and what He has planned for me and for my life. I ask that you pray for me during this time. I need prayers of peace about this decision and that I will be used in whatever way He is calling me to best serve Him, glorify Him, and make His kingdom known. I am so thankful for the prayers and the support from all of you. I have truly felt it while leading up to this adventure and since the moment I arrived in Uganda. The Lord has blessed me with incredible friends and family members and for that I will always be grateful. If you have any questions about what led me to this decision or how I feel the Lord is moving in my life, please do not hesitate to e-mail me! I would love to share with you. Thank you again for taking an interest in what God is doing in my life! I will continue to update my blog while back home about all God is doing in lives of these children and through Sozo Children International. 

Sleep-Living

            Last night after dinner the power was out, so I decided to watch “Beware of Christians” (thank you Davis) on my computer in my room.  Towards the end of the movie I got really comfortable laying in my bed and ended up falling asleep towards the end of the movie. When I woke up I got to thinking. I think that I have ben sleep-walking and sleep-talking my way through life. We get to the point where we are too comfortable and fall asleep on our lives and in our relationship with the Lord. Now, had I been outside, sleeping in the middle of downtown Kampala, you better believe I would not have just dozed off out of comfort. I would have been praying myself to sleep, asking for comfort and for the Lord’s protection. That’s kind of the way that life is- we get to a point where we are too comfortable and our senses our weakened and we are no longer dependent. We don’t have to depend on the Lord to sustain us, because we have plenty of food, water, clothes, and shelter to do so. We don’t have to depend on the Lord to keep harm away from us- because we have deadbolts and alarm-systems. Our lives have come to a point where we have so much that we no longer have to depend on the Lord. I think that is one thing that He has been trying to teach me here and show me. It is time for me to WAKE UP. This life is short, and unlike a movie that we fall asleep in the middle of, we cannot rewind from the point we fell asleep and see what all we missed and still experience what happens in the middle of the movie. I think we all need to wake up- and live life as if we were sleeping in the middle of the streets. I’m not saying to walk around in fear, but we need to be wide-awake in our relationship with the Lord and with others- fully aware of our surroundings, relying only on the Lord to sustain us and give us the strength and comfort to persevere. If we have something in our lives that is keeping us from depending only on the Lord- we should rid ourselves of it. For our treasures lie in heaven, and falling in love with worldly things keeps our hearts from fully loving the Lord. We need to be fully awake so that we know the love of our Lord, and His complete acceptance of us, and then we need to share that love with EVERY person that we come across.

            Something really struck me while watching the movie last night. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest that you do. The story is of 4 Christian boys who take their view of Jesus, and what they were raised to believe in America, and see what people in Europe believe. They have a new topic in each city that they focus on when talking with strangers. They were in some city (I believe Rome) and were talking about the Church. They were asking a girl and a boy questions about the Christians that they know. They asked them what it was that set their Christian friends apart from their non-Christian friends. Was it how they loved and treated others? Was there anything about them that was at all different? It hurt me to hear their answer. They said “No, it’s just that they’re busy on Sundays.” SERIOUSLY?!?! If we were to be FULLY awake in our lives, fully awake and attentive with our relationship with the Lord, fully awake with our relationships with those we come across- then there is no way people wouldn’t recognize that there was something different about us. We need to stop going through the motions, sleep-walking and sleep-talking our way through, and begin to live fully. Think of the commotion that would cause! Think of all that we could do! At the end of this life, I don’t want to look back and wish that I could rewind my life and go back to the point where I began to be too comfortable and starting dozing off on life. I want to think that I was fully awake, fully aware, fully dependent on the Lord’s comfort and let that be what got me through.  I want others to know I am a Christian- without knowing where I spend my time on Sunday. I want them to know I am a Christian through my relationships with others, through where I invest my time, energy, and resources that the LORD has provided me with. I did nothing to deserve the blessings on my life. I didn’t choose the loving family I was born into, I didn’t chose my socio-economic status, I didn’t chose any of this. I was blessed enough by the Lord to have this life. But that means that I am no better than any other person. The Lord gives us EVERYTHING that we call “ours”. So if He is the one giving it to us, then we need to take what He gives us and help those who were born into a life of poverty and need. I may be rambling now, and this might now make much sense, but I think that it is time to wake up and stop sleep-living our way through life.  I pray that I continue to grow in my relationship with the Lord and that He continues to show me that He is my all-in-all, the one who will sustain me and bring me comfort. The one who will Love me unconditionally and accept me for the person that I am, the person he created me to be. 

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

   “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
   "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money" 
                                                                                                        - Matthew 6: 19-24

Humbled in Jinja

       I want to first apologize for not posting something sooner than this.  I didn't think it would be so difficult to blog, but I have been struggling with wrapping my brain around all that has gone on since being here and all that the Lord has been doing in my life and in this wonderful city. I also feel that my words won't do justice to what the Lord has done and the great works that He has shown us. I feel so blessed to get to be a small part of His perfect plan for the children here and have loved getting to experience all that He has shown me.

    Since I don't know that I could re-cap the entire past three weeks, I think I will just share some of my favorite experiences. The first occurred the first Saturday that I was here. We took a trip to Jinja to baptize some of the children along with some of the interns in the Nile. It was such an incredible experience to see these children who had been street kids a little over a year ago professing Christ as their Savior and being baptized in His name. It was also so incredible to see Allen, who helped start Sozo and get the home for these 17 kids, get baptized with the children. It was incredible to see where the children are now, knowing where they came from and the struggles they faced in the past. I think God's presence was fully with us throughout that trip, especially looking back at what happened during lunch.

    We went to a little cafe for lunch in Jinja with all of the kids, the interns, and the team from Asbury. While we were there I ordered a chicken guacamole wrap which I shared with Mitch and he ordered chicken and chips (french fries) which we also shared. The chicken was like chicken nuggets which made me miss home and chick-fil-a. After eating I went to use the bathroom and when I came back I noticed there were 3 boys sitting at our table that were not ours. I could tell they were street kids because of their clothes. One boy had asked for food, but thought that his friends would get mad at him if he ate something and they saw him. So, we told him to invite his friends to come eat as well. The next thing I knew there were 7 boys sitting there eating with us. The oldest was 14 (I think) and had been living on the streets since he was 4. Can you imagine being 4 years old having to fend for yourself, try to find shelter, food, clothing, and water? I can't. A four year old should be joyful and carefree, oblivious to the hardships of life.  What was also incredible to watch during that experience was to see our oldest children talking with the other boys. Hakim, who comes and stays with us on the weekends, was actually the one who discovered the boys and recognized that they were hungry. It was the picture of Sozo being acted out right before our eyes. Our children, who were once hungry and living to survive each day, were now taking care of other children they saw. They were now there, discipling to these seven boys, and sharing with them who Jesus is and the love of Jesus. How cool that all in one day, our children were baptized and also got to share with others about the love of Jesus and why Jesus is their Savior. I am so thankful to have gotten to see this, and to see God moving in our children as they help other children.

     In that moment watching those seven children eating and so thankful for food, I was completely humbled and thankful. Here I was, complaining about food I missed from home, when I should have been thankful to be eating. I should have been thankful that I had been fortunate enough to eat breakfast that day, and every other day. I think that God sent those seven children as a reminder to me, to humble me and bring me back to reality. It is so easy to be here and dwell on what I miss from home. The people, the food, the comforts. But I think the Lord is trying to show Himself to me through those things and through the new experiences I am having here. Instead of complaining about the foods I don't like (which, are most) I should just be thankful to be in a home and eating. Instead of complaining about not having consistent electricity, consistently hot water for showers, or any other thing I can complain about- I should be thankful that the Lord is allowing me to see His people and hear their cries. I should be thankful that I am here in this place, and that I have a bed to lay my head on at night, toast to eat in the morning, and running water- whether it's hot or not.

   I think God sent me those seven boys that day. That may be selfish of me to think, but in looking into the eyes of those little boys, I saw God. I saw what it was really like to be hungry. I saw what it was like to live day to day and just try to survive through that day. I am thankful that I had that experience and that it reminded me that I am no better than any person. Not a single person. Instead, I should use all that I have been blessed with to serve God's people and help those in need. That's what Christianity is all about, anyway. Showing God's love to others. Helping those who need it. Taking what God has blessed us with, however great or small, and using it to help others. I pray that the Lord continues to show me His children and His people. I pray that He continues to break my heart for what breaks His. I pray that He continues to allow me to be a part of what He is doing in Uganda. I pray that I never forget all that He has blessed me with, and that I never get too comfortable. Instead, I pray that He takes me out of my comfort and teaches me about His people, His grace, and His faithfulness.


  “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
    “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

    “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25: 34-40. 

Thankful

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply" — Hudson Taylor

I want to thank everyone who has helped me to get to this point. I am so close to my fundraising goal and it would not have been possible without so many wonderful people. It hasn't been easy to get to this point. It take a lot of faith to feel confident that the money will come through, and to be honest, I haven't always had enough. It's an understatement to say that money is tight right now for most everyone. Especially after so many people have recently lossed their homes in our beautiful state from the horrific tornadoes that came through in April. Damages were done and people have suffered, but it's so humbling to know that even through that, the Lord has provided me with so much. There have been so many answered prayers along the way. I was able to sell my 1998 Ford Explorer that had 265,000 miles on it- that is truly a blessing. For a while I thought I would have to pay someone to take the car! So thank you, Uncle Ken! Dad also hosted a block party two weekends ago in our neighborhood in Cahaba Heights and we were able to raise money through that, thanks to generous neighbors and friends. I would like to personally thank all who attended and contributed, specifically the band, and Johnny Ray's Barbeque along with Yankee Pizzeria. Johnny Ray's and Yankee Pizzeria donated an abundance of food for us to serve to people and in return collect donations for my mission trip. It is incredible to see how generous people are.

The power of prayer is something that the Lord has shown me through my life. He has done such an incredible job of pulling me back in when my human tendencies pull me astray and I begin to doubt or wonder. It's like He's saying, "Kristi, have faith in me and I will provide. Trust in me and know that if you are working for My will, I will look after you and watch over you." It seems kind of silly that I even doubt- the Bible is full of reminders that when we have faith, He will provide. The Bible constantly tells us not to worry, not to be dismayed, not to doubt or fear- yet as humans, we do so on a daily basis. I hope that through this fundraising experience and  my time in Kampala that I will have a stronger faith and that I will daily be reminded of how powerful He is and how silly of me it is to worry about absolutely anything.

Though I am still fundraising, I am thankful for all that has been provided and for all of your prayers. Please continue to pray for me, for the children in Uganda, and for all that the Lord is doing through Sozo. There are some incredible people working through Sozo and it is so inspiring to see the work that the Lord is doing through these people. I have less than three weeks to prepare for my trip- so any and all prayers would mean so much to me.

Where God Guides, He Provides

I have spent the last couple of days preparing letters to send to people concerning my trip to Uganda along with using our favorite social media network, Facebook, to create an event and hopefully bring more interest to my travels and to what the Lord is doing in my life and in the lives of others through Sozo. This is something that I have been praying about for an extremely long time and I am beyond thrilled to see where the Lord is taking me on this journey. I have been so inspired by others who have surrended to the Lord's will for their life and my prayer is that I can also surrender to His plan and be a light to the world for him.


"Not to us, but to your name be the glory." These words have been in my head recently and my hope is that in all ways I can acknowledge Him and that all honor and glory is given to Him. Please continue to pray for me and for the work that the Lord is going in my life and in the lives of so many through Sozo Children International. There is truly a burning passion in my heart to serve the Lord in Africa and your support means so much to me. If you have any questions or would like to contribute in any way please do not hesitate to e-mail me, kristi.megahee@gmail.com

"Our natural inclination is tos be so precise - trying always to forecast

accurately what will happen next, that we look upon uncertainty as a bad
thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is
not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is
that we are certain in our uncertainty." Oswald 

Hope

I think it is hope that lies at our hearts and hope that finally brings us all here. Hope that in spite of all the devastating evidence to the contrary, the ground we stand on is holy ground because Christ walked here and walks here still. Hope that we are known, each one of us, by name, and that out of the burning moments of our lives he will call us by our names to the lives he would have us live and the selves he would have us become. Hope that into the secret grief and pain and bewilderment of each of us and of our world he will come at last to heal and to save. - Frederick Buechner-